Relationships Revelation!

Because I'm being single for this year some things have been brought to my attention (by God) so I would like to share them with you... one is that I need to be learning how to be good FRIENDS with guys. It's a lesson that I need to re-learn. I used to have no problems with this and hang out as me and the guys easily with no thoughts or worries but it seems that it is not the case anymore. Being single this year and being "not allowed" to date will help me learn this lesson. I'm kinda in a safe place to re-learn this...being friends only and OK with it type of thing. One thing Ive learnt about myself is...that if I have a "God set goal" I WILL achieve it and wont fail at it because that would mean disobedience to God and I really and truly cannot handle that. I love God so much and am such a for lack of a better term..."goody good" that I cant disappoint Him. Not because of a fear of what he would do to me like punish me or something like that but because I simply Love to do His will and follow His commands. :)
So why am I bring this all up? well Ive had a revelation to do with male and female interaction...yes that's right! A revelation! I was talking to a friend of mine the other night about guys and girls being friends and we were talking about the fact that these days its not as common...(esp in Christian Circles) it seems that when a guy and a girl hang out it is either seen as something is going to happen between them or that people don't know what your motives are. Its like the level of trusting people to make their own decisions is being forgotten and people are trying to control and "help" others in who they should hang out with and who they should date etc...I am not saying that as a friend if you have reservations that you shouldn't talk to your friend about it. I know that a lot of what goes on is often done with right motives...caring for your friends when you know that guy isn't the best influence or that you might know that the girl isn't doing to great with God and you don't want your friend to get hurt or fall away from God but instead of talking about it to someone else because we "care" so much maybe we should approach our friends about it personally instead? I know this is something I am learning...God has really challenged me on gossiping about others and also about forcing or receiving false attraction...I mean how often is it that your friends with someone and you don't see anything there except friendship and then people say "oh you two are sooo cute together" or "man you would make a hot couple" and suddenly you look at them with a different light??? I think this sucks because how many times does it work out? not many! I don't want to be responsible for putting people together who do not match on a deeper level. My suggestion is take a page out of a really amazing friend of mines book...here's what happened with us...We had been friends for ages and then one day years down the track he said to me "oh...by the way I used to like you"...I was gobsmacked that he told me cause he was engaged! Thoughts flooded my head like "why are you telling me this?", "why only now?" and "uh...your engaged!!!" but then he told me something that I will honour and respect him for the rest of my life! he said "yeah I used to but I decided to pray about it and not tell you and God showed me that although we were great friends and its not like it would never of worked out, you were going in one direction and I was going in another...one of us would have had to let go of our dreams to follow a similar direction as the other and I know I would never want you to stop going after your dreams and you would never want me to stop going after mine so I let you go" (he is happily married to an amazing woman who has the same job as him and same passions by the way!) what he did honoured me so much! you see to me this is the BEST way of figuring stuff out...1) be friends...good friends 2) if you start to like them...don't tell them straight away! don't act just a a random feeling! but 3) PRAY!!! and look at both of your lives...do they compliment each other? 4) is there a mutual respect for one another? :) such a good thing to do oh and with the challenge of me about allowing myself to be friends with guys, not fear what people might say, to trust that I know what my promise to God is this year, that people need to trust me too and once that promise is fulfilled that they need to trust that I have a wise enough head on my shoulders to make my own choices...well I'm learning :) and by learning I mean really learning...The other night like I said a friend of mine and I were talking about all of this and especially me being friends with Guys and my fears etc were brought up, blah blah but then we started talking about the difference between friendship and more. I used to tease him when he would say he was the one txting me all the time and asking me what I was doing etc and that I should do more of that and I usually joked with him using the answer "well its the guys job to make the moves" never in a you like me so chase me kind of way...we are friends and that's it but that's what I would joke about as an excuse for my laziness in not being a great friend. He then said to me "why is it that the guy always has to do the chasing? why cant the girl do it?" and the answer that came out of my mouth made so much sense that I knew it had to be one of those GOD REVELATIONS :) I'm not this wise! lol although I didn't let me friend know that Id only just come up with it then lol I said " because from the beginning of the friendship/relationship developing into more you have to establish your roles...the female submits and the guy leads...a guy chasing and making the moves isn't supposed to be about work its about leading...so when a guy chases and makes dates etc he is leading!" :) WOW!!!! that's all I can say! lol it makes so much sense..its why marriages break up, their roles got screwed up, they lost mutual respect for each other, they lost their place in the relationship. and hey girls don't get me wrong...there is nothing wrong with having a mind of your own and being a strong woman but their is nothing more attractive to a guy and more stronger then a woman who can know when to shut up and submit. To stop forcing your thoughts on your man and accept that they are in charge. That takes trust, courage and strength and we are designed with those qualities within us...and men...you stepping up, taking the lead, being humble about it, accepting the responsibilities that go with it and being "the man" is so inspiring and completely attractive!
so there...after that lengthy Blog (sorry my bad) that is my revelation!
Men chasing us girls is Men Leading! yay!
bring on the healthy male/female friendships I say! lets not let satan ruin it by gossip and false attraction! :)

make friends,
be wise,
take time and
have fun!

bless ya!